Handling Grief
True Heartbreak Never Fully Heals, But It Can Change Us For The Better
With the new year, I’ve often sat in contemplation, going over what I have learned, where I’ve been on this journey called life, remembering when time was a bit kinder, and when I had to be kind to myself because the winds of fate had dealt me heartbreak that sent me to my knees.
Life’s lessons can be bitter, but, they can also teach us how to remain balanced, to settle in, even during a storm.
I was once asked if grief ever truly goes away. Over the years I have learned that it doesn’t, but it can be seen differently.
Now, I am not talking about grief in the sense of death, but grief from loss. In a way, it is almost a bit of “death” of something. The pain can very much be the same.
We get used to something, or someone being in our lives. There is an emptiness, a deep wound, heartbreak, a hurt that cannot be healed. We have old habits, we used to always turn to that thing or that person, when that has been removed, when that tie or that connection is no longer there, we feel lost. The people we love, count on, and run to, get to be like an old cozy sweater. They give us comfort, a feeling that everything is going to be alright, we share tears and laughter with them, we raise them up, as much as they raise us up when needed, and like death, when they are no longer around, we find ourselves grieving the loss of their smile, their laughter, their presence in our life. It’s like a half of you is missing. And again, in a sense, it is.
A lot of it has to do with perspective. I think in some way, we learn to be a little more accepting of changes, we learn to see how we can grow from the experience, and life softens us, just a bit. We learn to let go, to open up our hands, rather than to hold on so tightly to the sand (life, love) in the palm of our hand, lest it escape, we learn to just let it be.
We learn to smile again, and we can look back at things that used to make us cry, with fond memories. We remember the good, and send them unconditional love, whether it be here, across oceans, or beyond the stars.
Rather than allowing grief to make us jaded, it should teach us to be more grounded, to let go of the wheel a bit, and just see where life lands us. Maybe, it might lead us to forgive, which is like a balm to a wounded heart.
